Lately, I’ve been drowning in a kind of heaviness that doesn’t show on the outside. I live with smiling depression — I perform for a living, and somewhere along the way, performing became how I survived. But under the smiles and busy schedules, I feel empty. Exhausted. Disconnected. I’ve been masking my ADHD and likely autism for so long that I don’t even know who I am without the performance. And when I finally crack — when the real me slips out — I’m seen as the problem.
I’ve learned that when everything feels dark and I can’t even feel joy, it doesn’t mean I’m broken — it means I’m overwhelmed. It means my brain and heart are tired from carrying too much. Right now, I’m not trying to fix everything. I’m not forcing myself to be positive. I’m surviving one breath at a time. Some days, all I can tell myself is: “Still here. Still holding on.” And for now, that’s enough.
I’ve also started my search for a therapist again. I don’t know where it’ll lead, but I’m trying — and maybe that’s what healing really starts with: trying, even when it feels impossible.
This is the face of smiling depression, and it’s a lot more common than you might think, so always check in with your friends and loved ones even if they don’t look like they need it.
The top 5 videos of the month are already updated just now below too including hair brushing and hairwashing, blowjobs, ALL kinds of cowgirl riding, standing doggystyle, cumshot on feet and toes and more!! 🎥
“WEBCAM: Hair Brushing Shower Hairwashing Blowjob 1st Full Sex Back” #1 Video for May, 2025
“First Full Sex In Over SIX Weeks SO Needed BIG Orgasms Cum On Ass” #2 Video for May, 2025
“WEBCAM: Dancing Vibrator BJ Riding With Reverse And Asian Cowgirl” #3 Video for May, 2025
“Super High Heels Blowjob Standing Doggystyle Kitchen Cum On Ass” #4 Video for May, 2025
“WEBCAM: Feet JOI Cumshot On Toes BTS Podcast And Health Updates” #5 Video for May, 2025
Here’s some of my favorite random pics from my most recent Caliente trip and adventure, trying to keep it all together including my new bikinis, naked outside a lot, fishnets, big boobs all over and lots more!! 📸
Here’s a few previews below, and my amazing supportive members get instant access to the FULL sets with ALL the goodies in the exclusive members-only section 🤫
Join me for the COMPLETE collection inside in the full members’ only set too!! 🙂
Click here to CUM inside for the FULL set at higher quality and much naughtier and SO much more!! 💦
Brand new top 5 details below to celebrate the new month and LOTS more daily content cumming every single day as always!! 🙂
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Remember my webcam show is this Wednesday night at 9:30pm Eastern US time, and I hope to see you there!! 🙂
Cum Join Me LIVE then right here…
You’ll still join me at the same link that you’re used to for my weekly live shows.
You can see the full details on joining right here:
Top 5 Vids Of The Month
The Top 5 is always fun to see which ones “win” and what seems to be trending at different times 🙂
Here’s the most recent May 2025’s Top 5…
If you’re already one of my amazing supportive members of LeluLove.com, you already have access to all 5 of these and THOUSANDS more in the Full Videos Section.
May 2025
1. WEBCAM: Hair Brushing Shower Hairwashing Blowjob 1st Full Sex Back
In this live webcam show, I start off chatting with you while I BRUSH MY HAIR NAKED getting ready to shower!! Things get STEAMY as I give you lots of views of my BIG TITS, ASS and LEGS as the water cascades down my body while I WASH MY HAIR!! Once I’m nice and clean, it’s time to get DIRTY!! 🙂 B joins in and we record a HARDCORE SEX video for the first time since my uterine ablation surgery 6 WEEKS AGO!! I start with giving B a BLOWJOB and with his cock nice and hard I slide a CONDOM on him and he fucks me MISSIONARY!! I flip over for some DOGGYSTYLE action and he fucks me nice and good until pulling the condom off last second and CUMMING ALL OVER MY ASS!! 🙂
2. First Full Sex In Over SIX Weeks SO Needed BIG Orgasms Cum On Ass
In this custom video, it’s been over SIX full weeks since full sex since my surgery and I’m FINALLY cleared to start making up for all that lost time so let’s get started RIGHT NOW with your cock in my mouth then missionary fucking with your hand around my throat as I cum harder and harder then bend me over for a doggystyle pounding to even more orgasms before you pull out just in time to cum all over my ass!! 🙂
3. WEBCAM: Dancing Vibrator BJ Riding With Reverse And Asian Cowgirl
In this live webcam show, I start off dancing and stretching my body in a super sexy SHEER lingerie bodystocking giving you lots of views of my BOOTY, LEGS, FEET and SOLES all while using my vibrator to get my pussy nice and warmed up!! B then joins in and you get a behind the scenes view of my ASS as we record a HARDCORE custom that starts with a blowjob!! I then spin around and strip off my lingerie, LUBE up his cock and my pussy and RIDE him COWGIRL with a condom on. You get the behind view of my yummy SOLES as I MOAN and ride faster and faster!! Just when you think it couldn’t get any better, I spin around and face the camera and ride him REVERSE COWGIRL giving you a front row seat to watch my BIG TITS BOUNCE!! We finish off with some ASIAN COWGIRL that ends with an INTENSE, LEG SHAKING ORGASM!!
4. Super High Heels Blowjob Standing Doggystyle Kitchen Cum On Ass
In this custom video, I had on my SUPER tall high heels and was ready for dick so I stripped down to my thong squatted down right in the kitchen and sucked his cock then stood up nice and tall bent over the kitchen counter while getting pounded in full makeup and hair and slutty shoes and outfit from behind standing doggystyle as I cum over and over again so many orgasms until he pulls out and cums all over my ass and I almost completely collapse after with my knees buckling and legs shaking and quivering!! 🙂
5. WEBCAM: Feet JOI Cumshot On Toes BTS Podcast And Health Updates
In this live webcam show, we start by recording the weekly podcast and updating you on ALL the CRAZINESS that’s been going on in our world, including B getting eye surgery so he can finally see without glasses, our live stage improv comedy shows, my upcoming Caliente trip and STILL healing from my recent uterine ablation surgery. Then we record a super sexy FEET custom, that starts with me dirty talking while showing off my WRINKLY SOLES!! I use my mouth to SUCK AND SLURP B’s DICK while I strip out of my bra and show off my BIG TITS!! With his dick eXXXtra hard I do some more dirty talking about my feet with a detailed JOI countdown that ends with a HUGE CUMSHOT ALL OVER MY FEET AND RED TOENAILS!! I end the show by chatting with you some more while I continue packing for Caliente before saying goodnight!! 🙂
YOU could be fully “enjoying” those 5 and THOUSANDS more of my full videos and so much more as one of my amazing supportive members of LeluLove.com, join me inside right here, right now.
And that’s just for May 2025, there’s a Top 5 like that going back over TWELVE YEARS to July 2012, as in two thousand and TWELVE before color television and sliced bread lol 🙂
Top 5 Vids Of The YEAR
And now with 2024 over, Happy 2025!! 🙂 Enjoy these top 5 vids of the YEAR!! 🙂
If you’re already one of my amazing supportive members of LeluLove.com, you already have access to all 5 of these and THOUSANDS more in the Full Videos Section.
1. WEBCAM: Stripper Heels Bikini Masturbation Dancing Doggystyle Sex
In this live webcam show, I start off masturbating with my vibrator to get my pussy nice and warmed up!! Then I put on my sexy new stripper heels and bikini to dance until B got so horny and teased it was time to fuck me bent over the kitchen counter!! The side full body view of this was posted a couple days ago, and it’s a closeup of my face and tits during fucking and cumming in this one 🙂
2. POV Blowjob Riding And Reverse Cowgirl Closeups Creampie Drip
In this custom video, I have a lot to do but the main thing I need to do first is YOU, my pussy is so wet that I when I bend over to suck your cock you can hear my vagina lips opening!! 🙂 I give you a blowjob while I rub my pussy then I climb on top and ride with my big new boobs bouncing in your face before I turn around reverse cowgirl and back to regular cowgirl to milk a nice big creampie out of you then you watch it leak back out all over your dick!! 🙂
3. Slow Mo Cumshot After Quickie POV Deepthroating Licking Blowjob
In this custom video, me waking up B for real because I’m so hungry for his cock, I pop my bra off and turn the light on then go balls deep for a long fast quickie blowjob that we squeeze out just in time before guests arrive with a HUGE spurting cumshot with slow motion replay draining his balls that were long overdue wow!! Then a quick after chat too with closeups of my big boobies talking about how much fun that was!! 🙂
4. POV Vibrator Masturbation Missionary Sex Cum On Boobs Mouth Clean
In this custom video, having fun even while freezing with something poking up under my robe that you stroke then reveals my big vibrator on my bare pussy and clit as I get warmer and warmer and you tip tease my hole while I continue masturbating, lubing up and me stepping on and smashing the lube bottle squirter AGAIN like a magnet then cumming over and over again while masturbating and getting fucked missionary until you pulls out and cums all over my big tits and I suck you clean and dry!! 🙂
5. Black Lipstick Stockings Succubus POV Missionary Creampie Orgasms
In this custom video, Happy Halloweenie!! 🙂 I’m a Succubus in black lingerie with matching black lipstick and black stockings, teasing and taunting you while I vibrate my clit with my vibrator as you fuck me deeper and harder missionary with my nylon covered legs and feet up in the air cumming over and over again until you pump me full of your cum and a nice deep soulFULL creampie!! 🙂
YOU could be fully “enjoying” those 5 and THOUSANDS more of my full videos and so much more as one of my amazing supportive members of LeluLove.com, join me inside right here, right now.
Cum Join Me…
If you’ve been on the fence about joining or just haven’t rejoined in a while, NOW would be a great time to join the fun right HERE now!! 🙂
Now even MORE to add to my realest deepest darkest bio ever, at least for now right in the middle of this next big adventure!! 🙂
I’ve put out a brand new full video every single day for YEARS and YEARS with THOUSANDS built up in my members’ area now!! 🙂
Cum get caught up in my members’ area right HERE!! 🙂
Did you know I post a brand new video EVERY SINGLE DAY on my site in my members’ only section?? 🙂 Cum join me inside to see what else you’re missing out on… 😉
Weekly Videos Screencap Recap
This was another fun and busy week with LOTS of custom video orders, so check out the screencap recap below and join now or login to the video page to watch any or all of them:
Don’t forget…
And don’t forget my next live weekly members’ show is this Wednesday night at 9:30pm Eastern US time right HERE (if you can’t make it, all the replays from all past shows are there too)
Did you know I post a brand new video EVERY SINGLE DAY on my site in my members’ only section?? 🙂 Cum join me inside to see what else you’re missing out on… 😉
My Sweet lady, I know you are in America, but go to a spiritual Church, and get some healing. If they try and charge you they are not normaly geniun, you should only pay nothing or what you can afford. I have used them for many years, they do work, they cant heal old age though, but still help. Not saying you are old, i am sure it would help with your problems. God Bless you Sweetheart. Live a happy Healthy Life. By the way i forgot to tell you, you dont have to believe in it, just have an open mind. All my Love Allan. P.s i Love your body. XXX